Aye, Aye Captain!
by Vivian Tanner
Summary: ATF Chris is about to realize why one should be aware of not only your environment, but the date as well, somedays a guy should just stay in bed. Fun, pranks, & pirates, just another day for Team Seven. Just a short drabble, inspired by events from work.


**Title: **Aye, Aye Captain

**Author:** Vivian Tanner

**Rating: **T

**Main Characters: **All Seven, Mainly Chris

**Summary: **_Sometimes a guy should just stay in bed. Chris is about to realize why one should be aware of not only your environment, but the date as well. Fun, pranks, and pirates, just another day at the ATF offices of the Magnificent Seven. Just a short drabble, inspired by the events at work today._

**Disclaimer: **Don't own these boys or their friends and family, wish I did, but much to my dismay I do not. Just thought I'd take them out for a ride or two or three. I promise to return them to their rightful owners unharmed. Thank you to the creators of the ATF Universe; it is a cool place to play once and awhile.

**Aye, Aye Captain**

**0800, Wed Morning**

**ATF Building**

**Director's Outer Office**

Some days a guy should just stay in bed. After being out almost all night filing reports, and handling the fiasco that Team Seven's latest case became yesterday afternoon, all Agent Chris Larabee wanted to do today was sleep till noon, go to the bar, order enough whiskey to drown a small army, and then go back to sleep (or pass out, which ever came first). Unfortunately as the leader of Team Seven Chris was expected to be in Orin Travis's office bright and early this morning to hand over the reports finished by the team last night, and to try to explain what had happened during the bust to cause it to go so terribly wrong.

Really when you consider other busts carried out by the team, the one that occurred yesterday had actually ended very quietly, none of the team was in the hospital, none of them had even needed to see a doctor . . . well . . . no one except the gunrunner the bust was set up to catch. The plan had been simple, Ezra Standish, the team's over dressed, overly vocal undercover agent, would pretend to be an interested buyer, set up a meeting place and the trap would be set. Team Seven had staked the factory out the week before and knew exactly where everyone was going to be positioned. Then when the ATF agents had arrived the morning of the meet they discovered that the perch Vin Tanner, the team's sharpshooter, was going to use had been destroyed during the rains that had hit Denver a few days before. Always resourceful, the Texan had just climbed to a higher spot and waited for the fun to begin, the new spot actually provided him with a better ability to cover his fellow agents.

The bust was almost over, all they needed was for the guy to hand Ezra the money, and then they would come out of hiding, slap the cuffs on him, and head to the saloon to relax. Team Seven had been working on this case for almost four months, and the truth was Chris just wanted it to be done so he could get all of his men back in one place where he could keep an eye on them. Ezra was by far the best undercover agent the ATF had in their ranks, which was part of the reason why Team Seven pulled so many cases, but truth be told Larabee hated it when the southern conman was out in the field, by himself, with non of the other seven there to watch his back.

The plan, like most of the plans for the ATF team, did not go off as smoothly has it was suppose to. _Do they ever?_ Chris thought to himself, while reliving the events from the day before waiting in Travis's outer office to be called in. Just as Ezra was about to take the case of money, the balcony where Nathan and Josiah had been placed gave out from under the men. Apparently the outer parts of the building were not the only aspects to be hurt by the recent storms. No one had been seriously hurt, except for their pride, but when the gunman realized it was a trap he reacted the way all bad guys do. He tried to shot his way out, only to end up shot by the four remaining members of Team Seven. _Poor Ezra, didn't think I'd ever see him willing get that suit of his dirty, but I guess if it's between jumping to the ground or getting crushed by a falling Josiah, I would of hit the deck to._

After the place was cleaned up the boys had headed back to the office to finish their reports. Chris had been the last one to leave the office for the night, deciding to go over the other reports before he handed them over to Travis. Ezra had been helping Vin with his writing, but it still felt right to check the sharpshooter's stuff from time to time, and well, JD was a great computer wiz, the kid could to anything with anything electronic you asked him to, just sometimes he forgot that when he was typing his reports his fingers couldn't type as fast as his mind . . . and mouth worked.

So here Chris was tired, angry, wishing he had stopped for coffee, instead of planning to wait till after the meeting, and feeling like he was forgetting something very important. The black clad agent knew there was some reason why he had pushed his men to be done with the case by today, but he just couldn't remember why that was. _Oh well, I'm sure the boys will remind me when I get back to the office later._

**Two Hours later**

**ATF Building**

**Team Seven's Office**

The meeting had went better than Chris had expected it to go, apparently the local police captain who had arrived to help clean the place up and take their guy away had contacted Travis informing him that he had some 'damn fine men' on his team. The officer didn't know how the two agents who had falling could have survived that fall, and helped the other five to close the case with only the one person being hurt. Hearing this, the senior agent felt obligated to thank Team Seven with some much need time off. Chris was on his way to the office to tell the boys to go home, and pack because they were going out to the cabin for a week to do nothing but relax, fish, and relax, relax, relax.

Just as the leader was about to step into the office he realized that there were what sounded like growling sounds, and laughter coming from inside the office. _Maybe this case was too much for them, I think Travis was right . . . we need this break._

Opening the door, the black clad leader was greeted by the sight of the six other members of Team Seven at their respected desks doing various bits of work, but all wearing very odd smiles. _Something's not right, where is the yelling, and the pranks? Well, I'll let them finish whatever they're doing and tell them the good news later._

"I want everyone in the briefing room in an hour, have everything done by then. Clear?"

Six voices rang out at the same time. "Aye, aye captain!"

Not quit sure how to handle that response, Chris did what he thought was best . . . he headed to his office and closed the door. Waiting just a few seconds his ears were once again greeted with the sounds of laughter and that growling sound again. _Why do I have a bad feeling about this? Now what did I have planned for today?_

"Where's my damn day planner?"

**Twenty Minutes later**

**ATF** **Building**

**Team Seven's Office**

"Shit!"

Chris needed coffee. After the meeting he had felt wide awake so the agent had forgone the original plan to get some on the way to his office. Now after being unable to locate the missing day planner, he was trying to finish some reports. After rereading the same page in his case report for the twentieth time and still having no understanding of what it was he was reading, Chris came to one simple conclusion. Chris needs coffee! Grabbing his mug, it was off to the break room for a quick caffeine break. Just as he entered the team's bull pen his ears were greeted with one of JD's famous . . . or infamous jokes?

"Why was the pirate late for the weekly raid? . . . He was in a cAAARRRR accident!"

No laughter meet the punch line, just a few amused smiles, and a raised eyebrow from Ezra. Chris had to smirk at the moment, it didn't matter how many of those jokes he told, and how many times they were meet with the same response, JD would always come back with another one in a week or two. What happened next was new to Chris, and made him almost run for the coffee.

"Now matie, iffen you're tryin' to get these here scallywags to laugh, how 'bout a joke that could crack up Dave Jones himself?" Vin tipped back in his chair so that everyone in the room could see him, then went in to his joke. "A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty whiskey. The bartender asks 'Why are ya wearing a paper towel?' 'Arrr . . .' says the pirate 'I've got a bounty on me head'!"

The office erupted into loud laughter, and calls of 'Well meet Mattie', and 'Arrgg'. Chris couldn't take it, he literarily ran into the break room hoping to find the only member of the group to not be trapped under this strange spell.

"Josiah . . . Thank God. Do you have any idea what is wrong with those five?"

"Morning Mattie, see ye came for some of this here morning grog. I best be telling ya, ye did miss a fine morning with the boys. Why Bucklin there saw fit to spread the booty of his wisdom around with the rest of us landlubbers."

"He did what? Shared booty? With who?" Chris was speachless, it was bad enough hearing Vin sound like an escapee from that Disney movie, but now Josiah was doing it to. _Something is seriously wrong with these boys. . . God we need a break._

"Shared the bounty of his knowledge, do ye know what a pirate's favorite crime is?"

"A pirate's what?"

"ARRRRson!"

Deep, soul shaking laughter could be heard from the break room as the team's now terrified leader ran for his office. His escape was blocked however, when the team's medic, Nathan Jackson, stepped in front of the office door.

"Beggin' yer pardon captain . . . mind if I ask ye a question?" Before Chris could say no, and push his friend out of the way, Nathan was already asking. "What does a pirate say when he has a heart attack?"

Seeing the look of fear that flashed in the leader's eyes, it was Ezra that opened the door for Nathan's punch line. "What pray tell did the pirate say?"

"Arrrr! Me heartie!"

_That's it . . . they're all crazy. _Pushing the laughing man out of his way Chris retreated to the safety of his office hoping to avoid the others for the next forty minutes. _Maybe I don't want to spend a week alone with them at the cabin, I'll just tell them they have the week off. _The feeling that he was forgetting something important was back. Chris went back to the search for his missing day planner.

**Ten Minutes later**

**ATF** **Building**

**Team Seven's Office**

The knock at the office door went unanswered for a few minutes as Chris tried to decide how badly he wanted to face them again.

"Chris, ya still alive in there?"

_It's just Buck, he can't be too bad. Sounds normal enough. _"Yeah Wilmington, come on in." Chris stopped searching through his filing cabinet long enough to look up as his long time friend enter the room.

"We be going to get some grub, before ye expect us at the rendezvous ye mentioned earlier. There be anything we can get ye while we be out? Some oranges, fish, maybe a bottle of rum?" The smile that graced the ladies man's face was anything but innocent as he watched his oldest friend, the man who was more like a bother, squirm in his chair. "Perhaps ye be wanting a popsicle or two? You know why pirates like them so much don't ye?"

"Like what . . . Buck are you feeling-?"

"Because they have ARRRRtifical flavors!"

A groan, and the sound of a coffee mug shattering against the office door where Chris's answer to Buck's question about lunch.

Chris could just make out a few muffled laughs has the men he called family slowly left the office out front. Rising from his chair to look outside he was just in time to hear JD once again attempt to get a laugh out of the assembled men.

"Why is pirating so addictive?"

"Why my heartie, is pirating so addictive?" The smirk on Tanner's face told everyone he already knew this joke, so for him to play along it must be good.

"They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!"

The group almost fell over themselves in an attempt to leave while laughing at the youngest member of the group, if they were laughing at his joke or the look of joy on his face that they were laughing at all no one knew, but they were laughing. Chris was sure he was free for at least a half an hour when he heard a familiar southern drawl, speaking unfamiliar words beside him.

"Suring ye don't wish to join us fer our evening repast captain? I'd a wager that them there dogs provide a good bit of entertainment where ever we be a heading."

_It looks like Ezra that is his gold tooth I see in the smile, and the expensive clothes. _"Ezra are you boys all feeling alright?"

"We be just fine sir, nothing ta be worrying about. Well, till later." With his trademark two finger salute, the southern gentleman followed the others out the door to lunch.

Sitting down once again in his office Chris decided to spend the next half hour figuring out how he would hide the fact that his entire team had gone crazy from the brass till he could find them help. The missing day planner at this point completely forgotten.

**Thirty Minutes later**

**ATF** **Building**

**Team Seven's Briefing Room**

Chris was already sitting in the briefing room, when the rest of Team Seven stumbled in to the room looking very much like a group of drunken pirates. All except Ezra, who only staggered a little bit, appearances after all. When everyone was settled, Chris started to talk.

"I've been noticing a few odd things in the office today . . . I thought may be I was just a little tired this morning. . . I mean yesterday was not fun."

"Amen to that captain!"

"Aye, aye!"

"Avast!"

"See, that is what I am talking about? What is wrong with you boys? Travis gave us the next week off, I was thinking we could all go fishing, but the way you have been acting today I'm thinking I need to check you all into a physic ward!"

No one in the room spoke, they all just turned their eyes to Ezra has he pushed a familiar looking day planner across the table to Chris. There in bright yellow highlighter, in Chris's own writing was wrote for all to see:

**September 19, 2007**

International Talk like a Pirate Day

Make sure we are NOT working a case today,

Those fools will only cause problems!!!!!!

"This is my day planner, where did you find it?"

"Ye left it sitting on me desk last night, we reckoned if ye were wanting us to be pirates for the day, we could see to it!" The lanky Texan's smile was copied by everyone at the table.

"Wait you mean none of you knew what today was?"

"Not till we spied that there note captain."

"So you've been acting like this because I told you what today was? I thought you were all going crazy, that I was going to need to have you locked up! And this was going on because I forgot to put my day planner up!?"

"You know what they say Mr. Larabee, to err is human, to ARRRR is pirate!"

The look that flashed across the face of the enraged leader did not bring about the desired effect of scaring the others into silence, but instead caused them to erupt into another wave of laughter.

"Now what was this about the Honorable Mr. Travis granting us a weeks respite from the confines of our careers?"

"We have the next week off, thought we could go fishing at the cabin."

The idea was greeted with nodding heads, and for those who would not give up there fun yet, (mainly Buck, Vin, and JD) three loud. 'Aye, Aye Captain!' Just as the seven began to head out to shut down their office for the week they were stopped by a cough from the head off the table.

_Can't beat them, might as well join!_ "Since ye men were all good enough to share with me yer pirate knowledge, I feel I should return in kind. Why couldn't the pirates play cards?"

Six sets off eyes stared at Chris Larabee from around the room, some in disbelief that he was telling a joke, others with a sparkle of happiness at seeing their friend finally relaxing a little. When he realized that was all they were going to do he stood, walked calmly to the door and gave them the answer before bolting to his office to hide.

"The captain was standing on the deck!"

_**To all of ye Sea Dogs out there I wish ye the very best**_

_**International Talk like a Pirate Day!**_

_**May your days be filled with song, love and RUM!!!!**_

_**AAARRRGGG!**_

**A/N: **What did you do this year on September 19, 2007? I drove my office buddies crazy by talking like a pirate all day, which is a pretty odd and fun thing to do, even at the Happiest Place on Earth. Hope you enjoyed the story, please let me know . . . should I write more drabbles or stick to my long stories?


End file.
